New Years Resolutions

I am sliding right through Christmas and on to New Years and all the shit that comes with it –

-Drinking and appetizers

-Passing out before 12

-and..( DRUM ROLL PLEASE ) New Years Resolutions ..


OK since you asked ..

I only have five and this year I WILL DO

-Lose weight-I have no clue how much since I do not have a scale

-Work out 5 days a week

-Be a better mom

-Find a part time job

-Volunteer someplace besides Max’s school

Sound doable ?? I think so too !!

found this funny 🙂




January 2015

2015??? wow ..

hey is anyone writing resolutions ?

I need feedback .

1. How many do you write ?

2. Where do you get your inspiration ?

3. How the heck do you keep them ?

Thanks !!

Need smiles ?

ok :

Me : Hey Max are you itchy anywhere ? ( there was a lice scare at his school.)

Max: No I don’t have chicken pox.

Me: Ok but If your head starts to itch let me know.

Max: I do not have chicken pox-MOM (insert wide eyed excitement). Did you know boys get chicken pox and girls get turkey pox ?

Me; ( chuckling ) Oh really max ?

Max : ( shrugging shoulders and insert very serious face ) That’s how it is mom.

Funny X-mas :

Wearing my hypocrite cape ..

I am truly NOT self deprecating as much as it may seem that way ..I am fishing for sympathy and connection with others so please share the ways you too have a hypocrite side…

Five  hypocritical things I do that I would like to change :

1. I truly believe children should play not watch or watch a VERY limited amount …in my heart of hearts I believe this and JUDGE yes JUDGE others that let their little ones have TV’s in their room or use TV’s as babysitters …fact we eat dinner and breakfast in front of the TV and I frequently use TV shows as a means to talk on the phone and/or use the bathroom without Max interrupting -I would like to change this ..thought about making breakfast every AM and having us all sit down together doesn’t that sound great ? (Dinner is out we work opposite schedules.) Unfortunately Max is the only happy one in the house before 7AM and I fear that me cooking a big breakfast might last ..hmm..never it would last “never ” .BUT its a great way (goal) to start the New Year ..

2.I truly believe a marriage only works if you are best friends. Fact I recently told a friend “I’m not in the mood to drink but I’m not sure I can handle Chris sober.” This is not “best friend ” behavior.

3.I hate everything about Starbucks as I am waking up early to be in the drive thru ordering my “christmas ” drink. Damn you corporate GMO supporting company …oh yes please a scone too !!

4. I believe in GMO free organic food for me and my family … fact I eat Top Roman too often. Max has eaten Top roman and Chris regularly eats SPAM. Just don’t tell the moms that I have “lectured” to about the importance of organic milk ..

5.I routinely talk about how horrible churches are and yet go every chance I get ( or used to before working Sundays ) to my credit though Max LOVED sunday school and it was an hour I got of silence. I must confess I often times ..ok most times.. made to do list during sermon ..a grocery list and/or jotted down “must look up ” info I didn’t want to forget. However I was there in the “dreaded ” organized religion.

Anywho that is my confession for the day ..anyone do things like this ?? No just me ??

Facebook posts give me a reason to be snarky ..( NEW FAV WORD BTW )

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How could I not ..

Give up pleasing everyone -please yourself ….anthem of every 13 year old male ..hell every male out there !

Give up worrying …or in other words support pharmaceutical drug companies ..or the pot dealer next door ..or if you are in CO support your local dispensary ..

Give up comparing yourself to others …avoid gyms …and PTA meetings ..just saying ..

Give up trying to change others …this might be the easiest one to do for me ..I have learned no child in the history of children will hang up their towel and no husband will ever come home early from the bar …once you grasp this life gets easier …

Give up taking everything personally ..avoid tequila take everything personally on Tequila..”he looked at me funny ” “the married bartender is trying to hit on me ” “The taxi driver is secretly over charging me ” …Just avoid tequila ..

Give up controlling …. no clue how to give up controlling my kids ..not my strong suit

Give up negative thinking …in all seriousness I spent a day writing down my inner thoughts on a suggestion to see how negative you are ..HOLY SHIT BATMAN ..try it will become more conscience of thoughts and change them..or atleast I did. The other option is avoiding WebMD ..all self-help books ..the vitamin girl at Whole foods ( NO just me ?? I think negative thoughts like this the hell do you know so much and still smoke that much pot ? Your skin is perfect and mine is terrible ..If i had  $1,000 to buy vitamins I too could look like you ..)


  • I promise to laugh a little today …join me?



Housewifey and the weirdest insult ever

SOOO apparently I am a housewife ..

yep I got told by two diff people in two diff ways on two diff days ..( hahha) that its ok if I am a stay at home house wife but why pretend I work  ? ( they said it in diff ways BUT same jest ) One was a PTA mom in CO  the other an old friend.

UMM what ? I explained briefly to each that I do work just weird hours and 12 hours shifts so I get consecutive days off. The PTA mom was “reasonably concerned if I continue to exaggerate.” She CC’d to the president and principal. THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING RIGHT ??

The old friend said “I understand working part time shame in it ”

First off I don’t work part time..infact last paycheck I had 96 hours ..yes 96 ..BUT here’s what I decided to do….. I wrote this response to both instead of giving them any more facts :

Being an at home mom housewife  is something I could never do because its hard ..WAYYYY too hard for me …I enjoy coffee breaks and bringing in money too much ! Thanks so much for assuming I am that unselfish and giving but I am not hhahhaha ! OH and BTW so stoked for Max and Dave that they get to go to daycare while I have worked …it has taught them so much and they are clearly so independent yayya. ( THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE DIG TO BOTH PARENTS AS THEY HAVE WHINEY CLINGY CHILDREN AND PLEASE NOTE I DO NOT FOR A SECOND BELIEVE MY CHILDREN’S OR ANY CHILD’S INDEPENDENCE COMES FROM WHETHER OR NOT A PARENT STAYED HOME WITH THEM I JUST HAD TO BE A BITCH )

To be honest I am not insulted AT ALL that they think I am a stay at home mom  ..or a housewife you are assuming Chris makes killer money and two would be kinda nice to have the household ran by one person 24 hours a day ..not by two trying to tread water’s just the MOST BIZARRE thing to be accused of lying ?? And why ?? And two diff people in one week that don’t know each other ?? NOT to be a conspiracy theorist BUT that’s weird …the only thing I can come up with is Facebook (one is my friend on there)  the other PTA mom is not so ..I have no clue ?? ANY THOUGHTS ??

Oh well HAVE NO CLUE WHY I CARE (or them for that matter)


Max is the VIP for this week in his class ( each kiddo gets a week). As part of this one day a parent gets to talk about his/her profession to the little ones. 🙂 Chris was going to do it BUT chickened out ( BUMMER KIDS WOULD HAVE LOVED MED EQUIPMENT ) soo it’s on me ..

Any ideas on what to bring/have them look at for dispatch ? I bought little ambulances at dollar tree for each kiddo. Was thinking  Power Point maybe ? Someone suggested taking pictures. ANYWAYS need input ..stat hee-hee.


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Have a great one peps 🙂

Blood pressure and some fun

I have a confession …I have high blood pressure …

So I have been doing some research..FUN FACTS I found out ..( mind you I took what doc said and checked NUMEROUS websites as well as talked with people diagnosed high blood pressure so I can say with confidence this shit is pretty accurate ..or I am making this stuff up like Wed MD ..either way read on )

-High Blood pressure is not brought on by stress ( as previously thought ). Stress is NOT GOOD at all for your body and takes a toll in many different places however the CAUSE of high blood pressure is not stress.  Stress CAN exasperate High Blood pressure. Weight-diet/smoking/heredity are what causes high blood pressure.

-Taking your blood pressure 2x every day for four days can give you a “base ” or what your norm is have to do it everyday at the same time though. Crew at work took mine today …

-Taking Vitamin E/Omega 3’s and D-3 will lower your blood pressure over time. You must continue to take everyday for ever ..and eva 🙂

-Salt of ANY kind is not healthy for people with high blood pressure ..sea salt salt …kosher salt …no salt is good .. “salt ” food I didn’t know ..cottage cheese ..string cheese or specifically mozzarella  …lunch meat …tomato based processed foods …and the OBVIOUS salt culprits ..canned ( EWWW  ) …processed foods food ..MY SECRET FAV TOP RAMON.BTW They make a low sodium ( really almost everything ) Ezekiel bread ..its actually good !

-Exercise can help with weight lose which helps with high BP HOWEVER exercise alone can increase BP ..interesting huh ?? Many athletes ( runners) have high BP … must be why I have it ..and if u believe that you should see my last marathon time ..:)

-Severe headaches or migraines can be a sign of High BP …if u get them EVEN once go see a doc..especially with no history …


OK on a happier note :

Max’s school conference went fabulous and hysterical !!

Highlights :

-His reading and math “concepts” are above his grade level.

-His handwriting is VERY neat ( NO CLUE WHERE HE GETS THIS )

-He is and I quote ” a wonderful sharer..a great example to the other shyer kids who have trouble speaking in front of the class. I do USE a timer to keep his sharing down.” (LMAO-I LITERALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD)

-Max has trouble “sharing talking  time with the teacher ” and she would like to see him listen more than raise hand to interject . ( SHE IS A SAINT ..I love the way she put this ..lets all read between the lines ..ur kid is the one that raises his hands too much and its annoying as hell )

FROM THE PE TEACHER:”He is great at PE and sports very coordinated ..he LOVES kick ball” 🙂

FROM THE SPANISH TEACHER :”Max is the most enthusiastic learner in his class. A pleasure to teach. He really understands foreign language ” ( AWWW it ‘s talking and words therefore OF COURSE Max is enthusiastic )

From the Art teacher :”Max loves to learn and try new things. Will be watching  his fine motor skill development needs to improve. ”

His Chapel buddy ( 5th grader ) writes a little something too ..” Max is always polite and sits still.He likes to hold my hand. I love him and can babysit anytime ” (She left her number -LMAO )

They do not give out grades yet BUT overall it was a great report !! YAYYYA Max !!


I sent Davey some good coffee the other day 🙂 he SENT ME TEXT SAYING HE LOVED IT !! YAYYYAYYYA Ill take whatever communication ( bribery )  I can …I still have to find out about his Halloween’s hoping I talk to him by Thanksgiving 🙂 I joke ..I did talk to him last week and he said he has been rock climbing more ( this is new ?? !! ) and skateboarding at the skate park 🙂 I love how active Dave is the mommy in me gets super stoked !!


OHH highlights for me : I cut my own hair ..trimmed BUT watched u-tube ( per instructions by a WONDERFUL hair dresser Mrs. Kristen Tucker) not too shabby ,,( dont mind the constant pig tail ) I am still waiting to hear about the city 911 dispatch job ..wont “open ” up until after the first of the year BUT such a great opportunity -please please cross ur fingers for me !

Chris and I have the day off together Wednesday our plans are this : Hike, open a JOINT ACCOUNT ( I AM TERRIFIED ) and research car insurance ..:) HELP ME GOD hhahha the hike sounds fun though huh ?

Anyway hope everyone has a great week !!