Im sure everyone knows its cold here. BUT DAMN ITS COLD HERE !!
Interesting facts I have discovered “trail by fire ” style about the cold –
-15 degrees takes your breath away ..like really it does you cannot breath.
Do not leave lunches in your car (for any length of time)-they will freeze -lettuce is icky frozen.
You can play football inside..with a four year old….your mother’s rules of don’t play ball inside do not apply in CO winters.
Warm up your car..duh you say ?? No I mean warm up your car ..for at least 15 mins (not joking) it wastes a horrid amount of gas however you cannot sit in a car for mins as it “heats up ” AKA never heats up –in -negative- degree- weather.
AND when driving in warmed up car ..do not be fooled just because snow is not falling and it is sunny black ice is everywhere. Just ask Chris who slide through an intersection in the ambulance hahhaha thankfully his ready ranger partner ( keep it clean people ) switched on the lights making it look like an emergency code 3 call versus a I am from California and slide on black ice oopsie.
Candles do not provide warmth ..you knew this ?? Not me-I always used to think the house was “hot” when I lit too many candles ..Now I light candles to mask the smell that is permeating around a house that has not been aired out in days..not for warmth.
You will be warm only 10 mins a day ( or 60 mins if you are Chris or a teenage boy ) in the shower -that is REALLY the only time you will be 100 % warm -I know I wouldn’t believe it either …heaters, blankets, fires nothing will really get you warm anymore only the shower or bath actually ..awwww now I want a bath.
You will bake for warmth..or do crafts that require using the oven. I hate baking seriously I hate baking and I could in pinch be called Betty Crocker now.
I hope you feel sorry for me..hahhaha I know I did (do) HOWEVER just as I am about to “freeze” with depression (see what I did there ?)
I am so very thankful for :
Good Strong Coffee:
Good Strong Wine :
L-O-T-I-O-N ..( side note this lotion is expensive as hell BUT the best yet !! ) :
OFCOURSE THE MONKEYS ( you thought you could get through one post without them ?? ) :
The other day I was driving home from work in this horrid snow storm-it really looks like a snow globe -i was scared and feeling sorry for myself- just then I looked over to see a man WALKING in the falling ( whirling ) snow HUGE smile on his face carrying a 12 “pack ” of toilet paper…I thought too things 1. It could be worse and 2. Fuck if he can smile so can I !
Happy Thursday everyone !!!
OHH almost forgot I made goals this month -well one –
No eating out at all -no takeout -no restaurants -no deli visiting ( I have a new obsession for the grocery store deli ) nothing until March 1st -thanks Sylvia Harrington !! SO now that I have blogged it I have to do it right ?? Ok and if you see me near a Chinese food restaurant or a menu you have my permission to slap , kick , beat me …might be hard from Cali but you get he point !!