I am beginning to love country ..actually this has been a slow love affair where I danced back and forth between love and hate like an 8th grade girl ..BUT more lately it has stuck :
Why you ask ?? Cuz they say stuff like this :
“Lets go crazy …you with me baby ? Lets go crazy ” I think this is adorable and it reminds me of Max ..he is my fav person to go crazy with ..really he is an overachiever at this ..you should see us dancing at 8PM half naked after bath to Eazy-E…or my personal fav our love of eating grilled cheese ..in bed ..for breakfast ANYWHO..
“There goes my life ” OK SO NOT TO relate everything to the monkeys BUT if you have not heard this song please do so with a tissue ..and know that this is 100% how my life with Dave is and always will be ..FUCK now im crying !! ( I dont know the actual name of the song,,sorry I am not that good )
” Your worst hangover your best night yet -you got that baby mine would be you ” This whole damn song is amazing what he says about me is fabulous and he REALLY is so in love with me ..had to let him know i was married ..
“Wont leave nothing but a memory in the house that built me ” This reminds me of Grandview and Beacons …this truly was my “home ” and where I found most solitude …respect for our beaches and leave nothing behind ..( ok off my soap box ).
And why I have left to hate occasionally cuz they say stuff like this :
“I’ve got friends in low places ” ( ok I LOVED this song UNTIL I visited some dive bars in Vista ..no offense to anyone I know PLENTY of classy people who love dive bars -particularly the ones in Vista -it is just so not my cup of tea ..the smell the x-crystal addicts -ok that was mean of me -the pool games I am never allowed to play..stale cigs etc -so anywho everytime I hear that song I think of two very distinct times when Chris took me to Vista “local hangouts ” J J’s Pub and I forget the other one -neither are still around-where fun was not what I had what I did get was almost getting hit BY A DUDE in one and getting sick from one drink in another )
“Its 5 oclock somewhere ” Because this makes me start to justify drinking at 11am….
“She thinks my tractor is sexy ” WTF ?? it should read ( say ) -said no women ever …
That is my country knowledge ( please don’t mind the overalls and cowboy boots ) and yes i still love my dirty rap and all that jazz..
Ok not only is this way ridiculous BUT the advertising makes me want to spoon out my eyes ..EPIC FAIL advertising :
# 36 CRACKS ME UP …
- Print long documents. The office comes to a standstill when shit is printing.
- “Organize” your desk while you’re supposed to be working. Really just shuffling papers around.
- Listen to other cities’ sports radio programs.
- Oh, I’m on the phone with my bank.” -Ultimate Forcefield. Nobody questions you if you’re having “bank issues.”
- Search through the online company directory…for no one in particular. Literally just look at the names and try to find people you haven’t met.
- Start smoking just for the breaks. Smoking is good for you. Don’t let the bureaucrats tell you otherwise.
- Make more coffee.
- Install updates on your computer.
- Spend the half hour before lunch discussing where your group should go to lunch.
- Play online checkers against yourself.
- Count to 28,800.
- Write a random first name on everyone’s lunch in the fridge. Watch the anarchy unfold.
- Walk around on google maps in a happier geographic location.
- Kill someone, then go to their funeral.
- Learn a new language you’ll never use. Claim it’s for work travel.
- Talk too much about everyone else’s kids.
- Read PGP articles about how to kill time at work.
- Write letters to your future self hoping you’re in a better place than you are now. As long as MS Word is open, no one could care less about what you’re typing.
- If you work on the phone, send yourself encouraging voicemails all day.
- Write passive aggressive messages to people you hate and email them to yourself.
- Build architectural wonders using only paperclips, paper and ballpoint pens. Bonus points if you can consult your friend who was an engineering major over Gchat.
- Switch shirts throughout the day and deny doing it when coworkers ask you about it.
- Deconstruct office supplies so that they look normal on the outside, but don’t work anymore.
- Prank call random numbers using the old-school Judge Judy, Dr. Phil, and Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboards.
- Fantasize about the office dime, who in any other setting would probably be like a 4 at most.
- Call friends and pretend to set up appointments with them in order to avoid cold calling clients.
- Take sad, lonely walks around the office. Claim it’s for exercise.
- Make up stories about dates you’ve gone on and create a false reality, in which you lose yourself and eventually go insane.
- Start dating your computer, like Joaquin Phoenix in Her.
- Tell people you saw a ghost in the hallway and start a ghost hunt, like those dudes on the Travel Channel. Film the whole thing.
- Hire Spagett to come to your office.
- Open all of your NSFW emails at once. Fuck it.
- Type every word you know.
- Tell a story about how you once traveled abroad to Detroit.
- See how far you can take it with a coworker before violating HR policies.
- Start the worst seafood blog ever and call it “Oh My Clawed.”
- Start coming up with fantasy baseball teams even though you have no intention of playing fantasy baseball.
- Make contorted, uncomfortable facial expressions that make it look like you’re not trying to shit all over your chair.
- Open up a large folder and start copy/pasting useless documents into it, tell people you’re “converting files.”
- Start a panic over China.
- Lay on your stomach for 20 minutes to align your back. Tell your boss to buzz off when they ask what you’re doing. A bad back could cost the company millions in healthcare costs in the long run. You read it in Forbes.
- Play the “penis” game with your most fun coworker.
Update -Max a roo and the big D :
Max started his new pre-k class today ..yayya Max !! When I asked if he was excited he said yes BUT my new class is the butterflies ..really mom can’t we be something cool -like the scaley ( sp ? ) lizards ..awww a boy through and through ..
Big D is amazing and I suspect drinking alot more than before ( spotted some interesting pictures on FB where lets just say he looked extra happy and slightly chinese ) I would ,think it was weed BUT I know he doesn’t like .. sorry D you are like ur momma just cannot do reefer without hiding in the fridge to get away from the cops that are surely coming ..but needing to be close to the food 🙂 hahahahha …
Happy Monday to all !!