Questions for my sons

I dig on Max and Dave I really do …I enjoy the differences they add to this family …..I literally (lets all barf) miss them in my soul..can you imagine when Max leaves?? ( who the hell knows maybe by then I will be so old and exhausted I will just want quiet ..quiet and good Merlot ) Anyhow that being said after the whimskical laughter and holding hands through the park I have some unanswered questions for them and since my children come so far apart in age ..maybe parents of all stages can relate ?

Dear wonderful, curious, active four year old Max , 

Son lets start with the basics ..you and EVERY TODDLER on the planet need to fess up as we all want to know …do you all get together and decide on these basics ?? (And if so what the hell did we do to you ..)

Toddler basics :

-Be a perfect gentlemen in restaurants until judgmental mother in law comes around then act like you were raised by wolves (she will agree).

-Decide after three years of potty training that you will have an accident in the middle of the Moms group after said parent brags about how easy potty training came to you.

-Lie about washing your hands EVERYTIME -one of these days they wont do the smell check..this goes for teeth brushing and washing hair as well -if you are lucky enough to have a parent that allows you to do this on your own without hovering.

-Have to go the bathroom as soon as you get 5 mins from the house and 45 mins from the destination.

Now little one in regards to OUR house and family…WHY OH WHY ..

-DO you insist upon stirring the spaghetti sauce ( after waffling for mins about whether or not you want to help ) like the spoon is an airplane propeller and as the sauce paints the house you say ” gosh mom you are always so grouchy all the time ” ?? ( AND JUST TO ANSWER  -I WOULD ANSWER THAT QUESION KIDDO BUT SOME THINGS ARE BEST LEFT ON MY HEAD ) 

-When choosing a book to read must it always be the LONGEST book ? ..( i overheard you counting pages ) what’s wrong with bedtime anyways ??

-Why do you tell on me to dad? Seriously..mom said to aunt so and so you were lazy …mom said to the teachers you never read me just her ….(Ear muffs Max ) WHAT I want to say to Max ..first off your dad is lazy and doesn’t read to you , secondly ever heard mind your own bees wax no ?? well mind your own beeswax ..I was talking to OTHER adults ( hold your shock) and just cuz you heard does not give you the right or intellect to repeat it. And besides I see the smirk when u tell dad ..dont think i dont know what u r doing ..and this is why we watch re-runs of Golden Girls instead of Disney my love -payback ..( ok Max you can undo earmuffs ) Just so everyone doesnt call CPS on me this is what I actually say to max ” That is not appropriate to repeat Max ” and as he argues I walk away like a good parent giving myself a time out ( from Chris as well that is now glaring profusely ) and by timeout I mean bathroom with said wine cup and phone ..ANYWAY I have really gone away from original question…

-this is a statement -JUST EAT THE DARN Veggies..don’t hide I will find ..don’t lie about bites I know portions..lets eat and move on so we can enjoy our Golden Girls during dinner together.

-last but not least my little wondrous child why do you begin to tell a story (that requires much interaction on my part) when :

A. I have just dialed a phone number or my boss calls.

B. We are running late for school/work and trying to get all people and “stuff ” out of the house and into the car.

C. I took a bite of food and cannot answer in the expected .3 seconds.

D. As soon as you dad comes home and we are trying to have a conversation about anything serious.

If you could get back to me now or later that would be great and BTW if you would like to save these questions for when you are a parent you are welcome to .. i promise you will ask these one day to a cutie like yourself ..

 

Dear funny, personable, adorable 18 year old David,

 

-Why is it every time I see you -you are rocking a diff look ..Jack Johnson (I need to buy you new flip flops ) Bruce Jennings (you need new running shoes) or every frat boy that ever lived (beer ?? ) ?? Lets pick one ..no ?? that is what your 20’s are for ?? K …

-Why do you sound like I have exhausted all your patience the second you answer the phone ?? Actually don’t answer that it will only hurt my feelings and I am pretending you are mad at everyone around you for talking while you are having such a delightful convo with your mother.

-Clothes -they too need a bath weekly you know this right ? OHH and paying bills not just for your parents anymore.

-Why is driving to you a personal mission to race and not die ?? This LITERALLY keeps me up at night.

-Ok and a surfing buddy is a necessity not an option right ?

Anyway my love not sure I am gonna ask you these now ..maybe wait tell you like me again and we can have a good laugh about it ..

OK SO KIDDOS I do also want to know :

-Have you had a good life ?

-Do you know how much I adore you and how at any age 4 or 18 you are beautiful when u sleep ? 

-Do you know I would walk across a thousand deserts without question if it meant something to you ?

And last but not least does the therapist accept payment plans ? 

A little throwback Thursday and how I will always see you :

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Idle Hands are the Devils work

I am bored at work ..

and thought I would share what the great and powerful internet has to offer 

YEP Proof BudLight and fishing= horrible decisions : 

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Excerpt from a blog i follow :   (talking about stupid quotes)

“Dance like no one’s watching.” -Author Unknown/maybe part of a Souza quote?

This is just poor advice. Someone is always watching, and they probably have a smart phone. #TaylorSwift

 

Another Awkward family photo BUT I had to :

WTF is going on behind them ?? HONESTLY WTF??

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Let this sink in kinda true -who delivers this however is ??? @swaggtacular ?? LMAO 

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I TRULY MEAN THIS WHEN I SAY I LOVE THE F WORD :

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OOPPS….

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I now know why Mrs. Crane in 7th grade drilled over and over again …proofread :

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This is the author of a blog I found called Yum and Yummier : YUMMM let’s all go right where my mind went : Its hotter cuz he has wine 🙂

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OHH WAIT THIS IS WHAT HE SAYS TO MAKE ( crockpot ) ( and he says shank

Recipe: Beef Shank Stroganoff

 Preparation time: 20 minutes

Cooking time: 6 hours 30 minutes

Number of servings (yield): 8

 

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs bone-in beef shank, excess fat trimmed
  • 1 onion, roughly chopped
  • 2 carrots, roughly chopped
  • 2 garlic cloves, unpeeled and lightly crushed
  • 10 peppercorns
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 5 parsley stems
  • 6 cups water
  • ¼ cup butter + 2 tbsp, softened
  • 1 large shallot, chopped
  • ½ lb crimini mushrooms, cut into quarters
  • 4 tbsp flour
  • 1/3 cup white wine
  • 1 cup Greek yogurt or sour cream
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • Fresh chopped flat leaf parsley for garnish

Instructions

  1. Combine beef shank, onion, carrots, garlic cloves, peppercorns, bay leaf, parsley stems and water into a slow cooker and set on low for six (6) hours, or until shank is just tender.
  2. Move meat to a plate and cut into 1 inch cubes. Set aside and keep warm.
  3. Strain stock from slow cooker into a small stock pot and set over medium-high heat, allowing it to reduce while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.
  4. Melt ¼ cup butter in a large skillet over medium heat and sauté shallot until softened. Do not brown.
  5. Move softened shallot to a small bowl and set aside. Make sure to leave most of the butter behind in the skillet.
  6. Heat skillet over medium-high heat and add mushrooms, making sure not to crowd, and turning to brown on all sides. Add shallots back in with mushrooms and remove from heat or keep over lowest burner setting to keep warm.
  7. Once stock has been reduced to two cups, place in skillet with mushrooms and shallots and turn burner to medium heat. Combine remaining two tbsp of butter and flour and then whisk into the stock, heating until thickened.
  8. Remove from heat, slowly stir a few tablespoons of stock into the Greek yogurt until ½ cup of stock has been added to it (this will temper the Greek yogurt so it doesn’t break when added to the stock), then mix into the skillet.
  9. Add white wine and salt and pepper. Heat over medium-low until warm and serve over noodles or potatoes, topping with parsley.

 

HMM this is interesting :

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Well damn it now its lunch time and I better go get in my car and do nothing for an hour !! Hope everyone’s Wednesday is fab!! OHH and Chris is “expecting” dinner tonight when he gets off work (LMAO) so if anyone has any recipes (with tasteless poison) please share …XOXO

HUH ??

Am I not awake yet ?? NONE of these make sense to me ..can you explain ??

 

INNER WOLF ??? Is this a self help class for humans or for animals ??

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Not that I care but hmmm AND is this a new version of the 80’s headline “Micheal and Janet are they the same person ? “

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Why just why 

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Headline of a blog I read :

10 more things I like about having my period 

MORE THINGS ?? wtf ? there was ten before ?

(although side note she is funny as hell -her Blog is Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine )

Well this is true today :

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And wtf are you eating ??

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well atleast if Friday …

 

 

 

Survey says ….

Remember the game would you rather ?? Me either …in my day it was truth or dare BUT this game is fun and I want to play with someone so you are up :

K you can comment with your answers or not at all and just read my answers ..( BUT would be fun to comment don’t you think ? )

K…lets start off easy ..

1.Would you rather be a trash man and make enough money to live lavishly OR have a easy office job but be broke ?

HAHAHHA can I empty your dumpster now ?? R u kidding me ?? the latter hits too close to home ..

2. Would you rather eat snake or turtle ??

YUCK and YUCK but snake ….hate the devils and I kinda like turtles …cute little buggers !

3.Marry for money or love ?

..silence …crickets..

4. Screw/hump/make love to Johny Depp or George Clooney ?? Gentlemen you must answer also ..

Come hither eyes …

hands down :

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5.Would you rather screw/hump/make love to Pink (hahahha yes I picked her-my wife in another lifetime -spoiler alert ) or Keira Knightly ?? Ladies you have to answer too ..

and since we all know my answer ill post pics of both :

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 OK i must confess I goggled “would you rather questions ” just now AND these are some : LMAO 

6. Would you rather have sand paper hands or no genitals ?

um what ?? prob no genitals ..honestly a waste of space and who the hell wants to have chronic “dry ” hands ….

7.Have sex with a walrus or never have sex again ??

UM WHAT ?? (who the fuck comes up with these) I am not a fan of seafood..smell makes me nauseous so never have sex again ,,

(confession I think my life is headed down that path anyways …there is a toddler in my bed again .. so this was a bit of a no brainer ) 

8.(a nice clean one ) Would you rather have the ability to read minds ( you would be illiterate) or the the ability to read ?

Read of course !! I am a junky ..currently I have three books going..only one fiction though ..( Holly this is a public service announcement to you: SEND-YOUR -SIS-YOUR-SPARE-KINDLE -xoxo) 

9. (OMG I LMFAO) Would you rather fart popcorn or have your past web browser history open to everyone ?

FART POPCORN HAHHAHHAHHAHA that cracks me up and now I have no desire for the movies..I would choose past web browser..nothing to hide here ..and no i am not goggling how to hide your web browser history in 30 seconds or less.

10. ( Last one ) and i cannot make this shit up they have this on the internet as a suggested question in the would you rather game : Would you rather have a vagina on your forehead or or have a row of penises down your back like a stegosaurus..( and they have a picture of a stegosaurus ) …

OHH well Max a roo your dream of your mother becoming a dinosaur has just come true …penis back it is !!

Join in the fun !! Comment ..send pics….this could be a very fun drinking game …or a dangerous first date icebreaker ..

anywho I hope Thursday finds you happy,healthy and wise ..(hey I have two out of three ..)

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It happened so get over it

It happened so get over it Steph !!

Dave and I had a heated “discussion” Sunday and Im still bummed and confused and worried about it !! 

BUMMER -the argument was about his college career and such and without getting into details things got loud and fast ..

I decided to find pics to Illustrate both sides :

Dave’s side :

WHAT DAVE WISHES HE HAD SAID: ( IM SURE OF IT ) 

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WHAT DAVE WAS THINKING OF ME :

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WHAT DAVE WAS TRYING TO SAY: ( IM SURE OF IT AGAIN ) 

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WHAT DAVE’S WHOLE ARGUMENT WAS ..

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My side :

EVERYTIME 

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YES I WAS THAT ANGRY 

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AND YOU HAVE TO SHOW RESPECT -HAHHAHHA

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WHAT I WISH I WAS LECTURING HIM ON :

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NOT SURE IF THIS APPLIES TO ME OR DAVE OR BOTH :

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ANYWAYS I will keep ya posted ..

as of now he pretty much rolls his eyes at everything I say ( yes I CAN LITERALLY HEAR EYE ROLLING over the phone ..it is a mom super power) and I am calling like a mad women making sure he is doing as he promised 

OY VAY !! 

and in the all knowing of bill cosby:

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San Diego Defeat

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Yes the Chargers lost to Denver yesterday and yes I am sad and yes I have been receiving some “razzing ” so to speak from Denver fans out here

 

-BUT can we all agree to hate the Broncos

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or as I call them donkey ass mother fuckers and not Denver ??

Dont know if it’s because I have lived here for a year now BUT I must share the good in Denver :

-There are over 60 breweries in CO all of which are on Denver OR only an hour away ..I am not a beer fan BUT Dry Dock beer is fantastic !! ( Helps that the brewery is literally 5 mins from my house )

Dry Dock

 

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-Rocky Mountain National Park is quite possibly the most beautiful place I have ever seen ..pics dont do it justice ..I am NOT a nature person so it takes alot to blow my mind and it did ..

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Downtown Denver is filled with funky old buildings and new age sky scrapers all within blocks of each other

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cool

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-OHH and then there is the snow 

snow max

 

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POT IS LEGAL ! -Yes you can buy weed at a dispensary wiithout a med card 🙂 ( you should see the lines though -out the door at any given time so you must REALLY REALLY want it !!) hahha

 

Also the lovlies I have met here : People are REALLY REALLY NICE here and did I tell you I love Max’s school ?? Just all around good quality people !! ( for the most part until they get behind the wheel BUT that is an entire blog to itself ..)

Anyways can you forgive Denver for :

yuck

 

And love it for this :

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and for this resident too 🙂

max a roo