36 year Me to 21 year old Me

I fantasize about having coffee with my 21 year old self and reading this letter :

Dear 21 year old me –

Enjoy bar hopping -you will never recover this well again . ( EVER ) 

Date that dude that owned the coffee shop -you will regret that you didnt give him a chance for the rest of your life. Hell date as much as possible …you need to experience all you can. 

You will learn to budget and you will have more money one day. ( On that note enjoy gas and rent prices now .) 

Fall in love with your girlfriends..yep you will not talk to some you see everyday now for years BUT your love will never leave -and on that note you will talk to some everyday some you knew before you wore a bra and some you met after buying your first car -point being they are just as important to love as a spouse. ( Sometimes more .)

Dave ( I know but we call him Dave now ) will leave for college yes college you will cry and turn crazy but deep down in your heart you will know the years you spent with him just you two and how much you played together and how much you grew together will be so precious and unique it will bridge the sadness into respect and then admiration for the young man he has become and the mom you grew into .

Dance in Mexico and eat that worm( you were always to chicken )-its too scary to visit now and your last memory cannot be the one with Kristen , Kamren and the taxi ( We almost got kidnapped and had to literally dive out of the car while it was moving. ) 

Ok this IS VERY IMPORTANT -you have a rockin body -YOU HAVE A ROCKIN BODY -YOU HAVE ROCKIN BODY !! This will change and you will look back at pictures and kick yourself for not dressing sluttier. ( OHH and BTW enjoy all the Albertos  you can now ..you will never be able to eat like this again ) 

ON THAT NOTE : ( the slutty part ) STOP BEING SUCH A PRUDE -this is the only time u can get away with it. Embrace it now.      ( you will regret that you didnt ) 

You will have many different jobs stop being married to one -you need them all to learn as much as possible and gain the confidence-BUT you will always always love working with kids so please finish college you need that degree to be the teacher you want to be. 

Go to Carson now -tell him off -kick his ass -then hug him and let him know you will be there if and when he decides to get clean. Then walk away -forever -and DO NOT LOOK BACK -you will learn his path has nothing to do with you -it was decided long ago. 

You will not enjoy marriage as much as you think. You will learn so much about yourself though through it. AND you will receive another blessing from that marriage in the form of a rockstar and you will never laugh/smile/dance the same again and you will FOREVER be grateful !! 

Enjoy Cali -dont take the beach-weather or flip flops for granted.

Stop judging organized religion and politics ..you dont know what the fuck u r talking about and you sound like a spoiled brat :). On that note you will go to church on and off alot these coming years and be thankful you did and exposed your children to it .

Love Leslie ..start now you will regret the years you held on to anger.

Some saying I know you love now :

“Keep on dream’in boy cuz when you stop dream’in its time to die “-Blind Melon

” Emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourselves can free out minds ” -Bob Marley ( you will be embarrassed that you had this on ur wall ) 

“And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations they are quite aware of what they are going through ” -David Bowie ( this one you will still love ) 

Sayings ( poems )  you love now : ( YES YOU DO ) 

“Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

-Kahlil Gibran ( this is your fav part of the whole poem ) 

“Never let your fear decide your fate ” -Some song I cannot remember 🙂

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you’ll move mountains.” 
―Dr. Suess ( you LOVE this book -Oh the Places You Will Go-and you cry every time u read it to the kids ) 

 

So Kiddo ( I know but trust me you are young ) all in all enjoy 21 (lay off the tequila though you will never be able to drink it again if you don’t now ) You are thin and in great shape and an active mommy – you laugh easily and without hesitation. You worry less now than you ever will and you will look back and realize you had an impact on people and those people on you .

OHH and before you hit 30 :

Run a marathon-( dont give up on this ) 

Wear a bikini.

Camp in the mountains not a campground.

Travel just you and Dave.

You cannot walk away just yet but start planning now.

Anyways enjoy life one day ( minute ) at a time -no need to rush time will FLY by oh and enjoy those french fries now they will be your enemy all to soon .

Lots of Love, 

( 36 year old ) Grown up Steph 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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