Parenting -you are doing it wrong

Let me explain what my life has been like for the past two weeks :

I found Max in the:

Dryer-“Finding all Daddy’s missing socks. ” ( Chris had been fuming earlier blaming me for his missing socks -really ?? I dont even do Chris’s laundry -clearly Max gets it they are in the dryer )

Refrigerator “Putting the lunch meat and sponge away. ” ( Sponge ?? )

Cupboard ” Reading a book by candlelight. ” ( No candle, a flashlight -I really need to explain the difference )

Max has said :

“Fuck it mommy don’t do the dishes ”

“I spy with my little eye shit and I need my butt wiped. ”

” I love daddy a little more but don’t feel sad he is just better at things.”

” I was wondering when school is going to give me my paycheck. ” ( this after a talk about his “job ” is school …

“Dave and I are your babies right mom ? ”

“Yes Max and I would prefer you live with me forever not like Dave who left ”

Long Pause ..

” You are creepy sometimes ”

“That’s what Dave says too Max, that’s what Dave Says too ”

Update on Dave :

He is still struggling with financial aid issues ( HORRID ) and he and his g-friend ( yes my worst fear ) have decided to break up ..BUMMER BUT Dave clearly is handling it well ..as he told me and I quote ” Mom really the most I want right now is a one night stand ” WTF??????????? I told him “Dave we never had this conversation ” and hung up ..called him back and said lets start over ..hahhahha ..

awwww I am clearly fucking up this whole parenting thing..howver I might not be alone :

four year old

funny-parenting-quotes-01

max 2

 

( MAX HAS DONE THIS ..)

 

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