I am NOT looking at baby pics of Dave ..
I am NOT reading articles that talk about wild college days ..
Dave leaves for college Thursday ..
I WILL BE FINE !!
BUTTTT if I am going to go down nostalgic road I will turn it into a positive –
Here are 5 things I would do IF i could turn back time:
1. I would have taken 5-10 mins a day to talk about our days and I would shared more about mine..( I DID ask I swear but let it die if he didnt want to talk about it OR did not fully listen -especially toddler years -good lord the stories went on forever ..I should have listened -be warned Max you may never get a break ) AND I was not good at sharing I put on a “face ” so to speak and I think sometimes he would have benefited from hearing that moms life is not always sunshine ( ofcourse Dave got a crash course in that when I was prego with Max -I am A TERRIBLE prego person 🙂 )
2. I would make sure Dave knows the import ants of dressing to the occasion. I was so worried about his “Independence ” that I failed to teach him to dress himself for occasions ..( he still calls me or asks what should I wear and shoes are “optional ” to Dave )
3. I would hug him every day -teenager or not and I would have stopped WHATEVER I was doing to except a hug ..sticky fingers and all ( okay anyone that knows me know I did this so maybe I would not change that ..I did not hug daily during teenage years BUT sticky fingers never bothered me -still doesn’t – not to toot my own horn BUT I have made it a point with both my kids to never refuse a hug due to stickiness etc …clothes wash ..a hug can not be replaced yayayyya me ! Damn I am good ..now stop looking at my laundry pile and my FREAK out about toys everywhere )
4. I would have PLAYED with Dave more ..like screw the dishes..screw my work after hours ..( doesn’t every mom say this ?? we have all read the poem ..”I would have finger painted more “) BUT god reflecting back I would have ..I am pretty good at doing with Max. I guess I know time ticks on and you cannot get it back so when a kid asks you to play cars ..monopoly ( heaven help me with a 4 year old ) you do it . I was NOT this good with Dave.
1. This “do over ” is a little hard to explain ..I always took for granted that Dave was “so much like me ” that I didn’t really consider that HE may have another way …or another thought ..he kinda just always went with what we told him or excepted of him-I should have had conversations like ” Hunny what do you think ” instead of ” well you should do this ” -even as I type this I have mommy guilt -and I probably still do this ..I would have listened more and instructed less ..I think A. Dave would be more independent and B. He would have had an opportunity to be himself and discover what that is . Max is so so different from me that’s it is often easy to play the role of observer ..and I have learned that is often fun ! Anyways that may be hard to understand or even get and maybe I’m not explaining that right ..its kinda like Dave I assumed I got to discover with my heart and Max I assumed I get to discover with head ..I was wrong I should have mixed the two together and looked at Dave ( Max ) with both .
ANYWAYS so that is what I would ( will ) do different ( I have a do over with Max and tonight I’m totally on board ..now next Monday when max wont eat his spaghetti because it is touching his salad all bets are off )
BUT I have had an amazing ride with a sensitive, responsible, stubborn, respectful, messy, 18 year old kid I have the honor and privilege of calling my son ! AND BY THE WAY HE IS MINE ALL MINE ..YOU cannot have him ..okay I’ll give him up when he is married and has his own children and then his KIDDOS ARE MINE ALL MINE ..
god help his therapist ..:)