Parenting Envy Rage or P.E.R.

 

is it bad that I want to punch her in the face ??

I omitted some names BUT this is a post I just read -and I am not kidding when I say I want to punch her in the face -or move in with her one of the two ..

SHE WRITES :

A bad nightmare woke ( child ) up at 2:45, and he stumbled into our room looking for consolation and cuddles. After I brought him back to his bed, I tossed and turned in mine for what seemed like much too long.  At 3:33 am, I decided to give up the fight and wake up for the day.  Might as well be productive, so I got to work and by 7:15 am I had…

…completed three loads of laundry (using my homemade laundry detergent, of course!).

…prepared a batch of homemade yogurt.

…scrubbed the bathrooms.

…sorted and organized the countertop paper piles that had been stressing me out for weeks.

…ordered school supplies for the upcoming school year.

…attended a hard-core class at my fitness studio.

…taken care of grocery shopping for the week.

By the time I came home from the gym and store, Child # 2  was awake.  She and I had some quiet time together this morning, a rarity as all three kids usually wake up together.  I prepared a blueberry breakfast shake for us to share, and we quietly enjoyed it in the growing morning light.

Once everyone was up and fed, we took a family walk to the neighborhood farmers market, picking up lettuce, radishes, beets and cookies.  We made it home in time for Vivian’s nap, so I put her down while Chris took the kids to see a movie.

With a quiet afternoon in my sights, I suppose I could have rested a bit.  But, that’s just not in my nature.  With a part-time job, three kids and my cloth diaper businessI just don’t have the luxury of a lazy Saturday. So, I got to work cleaning the kitchen, dining room, floors and and living room using all-natural homemade cleaning products and a little elbow grease.  I know I’ll rest easy tonight in a clean house!

Now, I’m headed out for a date with with Hubby  while my cousin  watches the kids.  I might be exhausted, but a quiet night out with my most favorite person in the world is too good to pass up. 

FUCK RIGHT OFF MARY POPPINS and see you at the PTA meeting ? 

Snapped -ever seen the show ?

Watch carefully i might be on it …

Chris is a diet sabotager ..( sp ? not even sure that is a word ..)

and a jerk about it !!

Let me give you some examples with JUST the facts and you decide ..

Me: What’s for dinner ?

Chris :I don’t know i’ll grab something at the store to make

Me :Ok just remember I’m eating low cal and as low processed as possible

( and later that day )

Chris : Hey I got Bratwurst ..sauerkraut and hoagie rolls

Me: REALLY CHRIS ??

Chris : I’m testing your self control -you should thank me

Chris : Hey i read an article that says wine won’t make you gain weight so maybe you should pick some up for yourself tonight ..

Me : ( Salivating ) Really ??

Chris : No just kidding. Just wanted to test you and you failed ”

Me : Hey I need to run 2morrow AM what time do I need to be back so you can leave for work ?

Chris : 7:30

and at 630 AM that morning

Chris :Hey I need to leave at 7:00 not 7:30

Me : WHAT ??

Chris :Just run faster -I’m motivation.

Now some additional facts :

Chris is not dieting with me

Chris is not working out AT ALL

and Chris has never stuck to a getting healthier plan for more than 3 days in the 16 years I have known him ..

you be the judge

-ass

or

-bigger ass

These are your choices .

munchies

No NOT the fun kind that induces laughing and seth rogan movies ..

the bad sabotage your diet kind ..

let me show you in pics what I have ingested in the last two hours ( in no particular order ) 

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

yep that’s a bratwurst..and the weird yellow stuff is sauerkraut..i had two helping of each …should have just drank a bottle of wine prob healthier and less calories  🙂 oh well I will run harder tomorrow ( who am i kidding ) ..and eat less calories at dinner as well ( again the BS continues ) and maybe even post bathing suit pics on FB because I will feel so good ( the pigs that are flying around my computer are piling up ) 

Anyways ..a fun quote from Max ..” I am not be 6 yet  BUT when I am I will go to college without you ” ( this after a stern re-directing ) I laughed BUT what i wanted to say was first off doogie houser you are stuck with me until you are 18 and secondly I am without wine and “fun ” food don’t FUCK WITH ME ..but I refrained ..yayyya Steph 

Stop Taunting me

This is what I was emailed or seen so far today ..

REALLY captain universe ..

I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic ..Im just saying life without cocktails sux ( is that something an alcoholic would say ?? maybe I should see if that is on AA’s you’re an alcy list ..oh well doesnt  matter now im sober for fuck sake ) anyway please enjoy these pics as I have

( hopefully minus the knife I am holding ) 

 

Image

 

Image

Image

Image

 

 

 

Detox=sucks ass

So day 5 of detox …

sucks ass -i was drinking a veggie smoothie from Whole Foods and trying not to imagine pouring vodka in it ..yep that’s where I am at !! I also have an unrealistic craving for pizza or Carls Jr AND I’m not gonna say I put an ad out on craigslist BUT i would consider a reasonable offer for wine in exchange for Max -again this is where I am at ..

SO for now I will enjoy my feeling so good because my body is cleaner ( sarcasm can you hear it ) and watch more Lifetime and drink my alcohol free spinach beet apple smoothie -YAYYA 

 

Back to the B word

Budget again ..

I had a HUGE wake up call last night ..and a good friend is actually looking at my finances now to help me “slim ” down my spending ..

SOOO that said Im going to stick to a 80 a week grocery budget ..this is very hard for me BUT im using some tools -shop around -find deals , coupons etc -Big Lots ROCKS for food 🙂 -AVOID WHOLE FOODS AT ALL COSTS-save receipts and check for “splurge ” items ..

Little to no convenience foods ( we do eat alot of brown rice though )

OHH and another friend just told me they were doing a 30 day cleanse ..Im joining her ..HEAVEN HELP ME ..its really simple actually no alcohol or fast food ( not a fan anyways ) …I miss wine already !! ?? !! BUT this will help me save money too ..

Anyways ..i need a funny or gun and since funny is less permanent here it is :

coolio

 

coolio