My horoscope included ..

“Artistic Venus will form a sextile to inventive Uranus. ” Yes yes I know what this really means BUT the 5th grader in me had a good laugh -what words to string together ? 

Happy Thursday now I am in a dive bar with a jack and coke kinda mind so here is some dirty raunchy-ness :

Dirty pick up lines :

My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina? 

You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the hoes on! 

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand. 

My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast… 

Jokes :

Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?

A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke! 

Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?

A: He’s nursing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay! 

Q: What are the two main ingredients in Cialis?

A: Miracle Gro & Fix-a-flat! 

Image

Have a great day all !! 

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