Things I have actually said

Things you never thought you would say ( or at least me ) and have after having children:

OMG the fish cannot go for a walk to the bigger bowl ( the bath tub )

NO five whoppers is not dinner nor is that a snack for that matter that is disgusting..

Yes I guess good surf is a good reason to miss class ( I must explain -Dave had literally come up with such a good argument that after saying yes and hanging up the phone I realized after ten mins of recalling the conversation I had been charmed )  

Dragons do not live in your toothbrush but nice try 

Green beans are a veggie not what doggies “do on the lawn “: ( I shit you not-no pun intended – this is what Max told me and he was really shocked when I did not buy his manipulation -his face said what ?? that was a good one ..)

How did you hit a boulder IN FRONT OF YOU ?? and why is the BACK of the truck messed up ?

No No just because coffee has water in it does not mean it can hydrate you 

My personal fav ..vegetarian and vagina are not the same ..

This should be added to What to Expect when you are Expecting ..the parenting bible that leaves out all the good stuff ..




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