Ok so I didn’t realize it was Lent until I drove past a church sign saying “Lent is a forgiveness app ” it got me thinking what am i going to give up for lent ?
Cursing ( those who know me know i am a truck driver at heart ) but then I thought fuck that shit way too hard ..
Eating meat ..yeah im sorry my once a week steak is not something I am willing to give up ..
so I then ( stay with me here ) thought to myself I have given up Dave for a year that counts right?? so INSTEAD of giving up something I decided to add something ..
Im sorry if i have offended anyone ..no I am not an atheis and I do believe in Jesus ..and Buddha ..and Mohammad ..I am pray daily and love our higher power the rockin chicka she is ( never mind have u seen a penis ? god is a man ..anyway I digress)
So because I just am the forever rebel ( or horribly selfish ) I am ADDING something to my life this lent ..I will EVERY SINGLE DAY add a random act of kindness to my life or I guess I should say to those around me ..I can even blog daily and let you know BUT really do you want to know daily ??
SO sorry Lent or sorry Jesus BUT that’s my small contribution toward Easter ..ohh and an Easter basket ..cuz chocolates ( specifically cad bury eggs ) celebrate the birth ..no damn it that’s xmas the resurrection of Krishna ..no damn it again that’s Christ ..
oh hell god im doing something nice daily …
It came to me while driving today that one day my kids will have that big “confrontation” with me one day ..the one where they ask why did you do that ?? and how could you ?? and there will be accusations and if you had only done this different mom I would be better ..and so I decided I will take my licks and use the same line my parents did .i tried my best ..i thought i was doing what was right ..AND then i decided to make my OWN list of questions…
So here goes Max and Dave ..I would love to know :
1. Why when your father is sitting next to you LITERALLY next to you do you call me from the other room to come “open this for me ” ?
2.Why is the most important time to ask/tell me ” Can i go to so and so’s house tonight and they need to know right now ” ” Watch this I can take the fish for a walk outside his bowl.” when i am in the bathroom ?
3. Yesterday you loved peanut butter or peas and today you hate them and CANNOT BELIEVE I would serve them to you. Really after a buying the Costco size ?
4. In the car ..( DAVID ALVAREZ ) why do you insist on explaining to me the rules of the road at a high pitched squeal ..you are 5 three years ago you were shitting your pants lets not judge ( Max ) Why do you insist on proclaiming you love every song that I change ?? Or insisting that i “LOOK AT THIS ” ( while driving in the snow )
5.If I have to put up with your electric guitar “practice ” with eight of your friends and an amp ..you can put up with my ENYA cd once in awhile …
6. Asking how your day was is not a way to mentally hypnotism you I really do care and want to know and BTW this might be a time to share if you have A. a project coming up that involves me B. A project that involves me spending money C.A time to let me know I was suppose to sign that permission slip ( due last week ) .
7. and my last question and my personal fav..to quote Robin Williams : his children kept asking questions why is the sky blue ..where do flies come from etc etc and his response
“LAST WEEK YOU WERE EATING YOUR OWN SHIT NOW YOUR FUCKING EINSTEIN ? “
🙂 I am prepared ..very prepared for the confrontation ..now that question must be are they ?
So i think i might need eyeglasses ..my dad is farsighted ..or near sighted and my mom is the opposite ..yes that explains it 🙂 hahha anywho BOTH
are bad and I am avoiding all of this by using phrasing ( feel free to steal if u need to ) ” No i know what it said I just read to too fast ” “WHAT ?? That is the time yikes my cell phone is off” ( not a good one techy geeks will call u on this ..or teenagers ) “I KNOW what channel you said but my TV has a diff one ” ( only works when u live another state away from those sending u the info ) and my personal fav ” Really ?? you must have been drinking your typing is really bad ..can u resend ? ” ..let me know how these work for you ..they are not going over well with me 🙂 DAMN IT GLASSES …and the lesson in this ?? you can bullshit for awhile but god damn Gammy was right it all comes out in the laundry ..or in the eye doctor’s office ..